Tom Darby Blog From Ale81Inn

The new protectionism
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A Doom and Reprisal editorial from Ale 81 Inn field correspondent, Ford Wenty

No, this is not about the revival of tariffs or other forms of economic protectionism. For that matter this is not something new either. It is, in fact, as old as the medieval days of feudal lords collecting their tribute in the form of labor or the fruits thereof for the protections of the castle walls should their little fiefdom come under assault from neighboring lords. This is about a new application of this protectionism.

Our so called leaders are really big on this new protectionism. This protectionism is the underlying premise for every new regulation, every new law, every new decree. All of these acts are performed in the interest of protecting a public, who in their ignorance do not even grasp that they are in need of protection. These guardians of the greater good are ever vigilant to protect us from every possible danger, whether it be saccharine, faulty automotive design or second hand smoke. They have rationalized their actions as being a noble effort to protect us, the slobbering proles, from ourselves. In truth, their only motivation is in protecting themselves from scrutiny with a thin veil of faux benevolence. In so doing they remain smugly confident that we should never question who should protect us from them while they grow fat and lazy upon the mounds of tribute they collect.

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Does anyone else wonder whatever became of "my body, my choice"?
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Another Doom and Reprisal editorial from Ale 81 Inn field correspondent, Ford Wenty from the Ale81Inn

Welcome to the ascendency of the Karen Kommandos.  Karens, like other brands of assholes, come in various stripes. They don't ALL look like anime wannabes, just a large number of them.  I happened to run into one the other day who was of a sufficiently ambiguous identity that I could conclude that "it" was a male at birth (the Adam's apple the dead giveaway), somewhere in the transition to female and still trying to decide if "it" wanted to identify as an anime character.  Speaking for myself these are not encounters that occur frequently; thus, they are approached with great caution.

This was not in any circumstance where any of these matters should have made any difference, but I nonetheless readied myself for the obligatory pronoun lecture. Thankfully this did not come, yet I was prepared with my standard response: Hi, I'm Ford, I am a man and my pronouns are I don't give a shit and go fuck yourself.  One might well imagine that this response does nothing to endear me to those professing their gender fluidity. And that is just fine with me. I'm not looking to make friends and am perfectly content with my own company. This particular encounter, however, was not without some measure of controversy.

The venue of this event was at a merchant who shall remain nameless. It is an establishment, like many, who have posted the obligatory signs on the door indicating the governor's mask order, but one that does not go to great pains to enforce the mandate. Apparently the management of this store have rightly concluded that it is not their job to act as the impotent executive's hatchet man. Apparently this clerk did not get the memo.

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The Barber of Owosso: A tragic opera in one act
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Scene: The Reichspalatz, 12:15AM, 5 May 2020

Reichsfuehrer Gretchen Goering-Hitler had just finished a luxurious bath in mare’s milk; with just a touch of blood from the latest herd of Guatemalan immigrant children. She had discovered that the fresh blood, perhaps due to the tropic of the donors, was far more efficacious than her prior regimen of aborted fetal tissue. The soothing therapy of that bath was well earned, for she had just completed an exhausting day in the special observance of the 50th annual Statist’s Ball; a commemoration of the Kent State massacre. This year the committee had outdone themselves, featuring the sacrifice of a live giraffe (just because they could), and constitution biscuits for communion wafers. The biscuits were a first: it seems they have found that by baking bits of the constitution right into the biscuit, it saves them the time and expense of having it printed on their toilet tissue.

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The Bugeye State
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A Doom and Reprisal editorial from Ale 81 Inn field correspondent, Ford Wenty From the Ale81Inn

The masks do not protect me. They do not protect you. It is sound science that the degree of protection afforded from a universal mask mandate is negligible, if any at all. The masks are a cover and only a cover. Not for health reasons. Every mask is a piece of a grand tapestry of political cover for a chicken shit excuse of a governor.  People in positions of authority at this level, regardless of political affiliation, have three simple maxims to guide their enlightened policies:  1) always find someone/something else to blame; 2) whenever possible kick the can down the road; and 3) never let a good crisis go to waste.

This is not leadership; it is cowardice. Mike Dewine is nothing more than a kinder, gentler version of Gretchen Whitmer. He may think he is doing the right thing. People who travel within such a limited circle always think they are doing the right thing because of their penchant for surrounding themselves with people who will always tell them what they want to hear. Either that or they are of such weak mind as to be easily manipulated by others. In Dewine's case I would suggest that it may be equal parts of both.

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Pandemic or Plandemic
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Well that is a bit of a provocative title, isn’t it?  I’m guessing that this is not the first time for many of you to have heard this topic framed in such a fashion.  I have stated previously in this forum that I do not subscribe to the “plan”demic suggestions, as tempting as some of these may be. There are already, and no doubt will continue to be, those who will cite various pieces of data to suggest and then support such theories.  I can admit to myself that some of these suggestions hold a degree of plausibility, yet I am still tethered to the notion that in most instances the simplest explanation of a thing tends to be the most logical.  Since all of the furor now surrounds not the virus, but the official response to it, the simplest explanation for where we now find ourselves is this. Where there is a permanent class in our public sectors, who have been continually rewarded for inefficiency and incompetence, the occurrence of ANY crisis will manifest it’s absolute worst side effects by their actions.

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How do you deal with crocodiles?
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To begin, there are some essential facts about crocodiles which must be clear to all who wish to survive an encounter.  First and foremost, as far as our best science can tell, the crocodile (and it's variant cousins) have been alive and thriving on this planet since before we were a whisper in some ape's nutsack. A relic from the age of dinosaurs; yea even, perhaps survivors of the great meteor impact circa 60 million years ago. These facts alone suggest a species predisposed to being a badass. The secret to this longevity is an extraordinary simplicity of design. While we humans have dedicated ourselves to evolving our conscience, our reptilian counterparts have instead refined their best physical attributes so as to dominate their environment and thrive as a species.  Every moment of every day is about the survival of the individual crocodile (eating) and of the crocodile as a species (fucking).

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TJ Darby from the Ale81Inn
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Earlier this week I happened to catch a bit of an interview with Dennis Miller. I have always enjoyed hearing Miller’s take on things: his well tempered cynicism, wrapped inside of clever humor, is good medicine in even the best of times. This brief clip prompted me to revisit another recent appearance of Miller, this one on The Rubin Report of 29 March, 2020. I’ll not post the link here (absolutely nothing against Dave Rubin), but this podcast is easily found and I would encourage all to watch. The episode is just slightly over one hour in it’s duration, but it was only one brief exchange that has inspired the train of thought which follows. Within the context of a discussion over the current sociopolitical climate in the United States, Miller said:

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The Sloan case through color blind lenses
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These are indeed troubled times in which we live.  Regardless of which side of the political divide one finds themselves this is a statement upon which we may find a consensus.  Depending upon which side of that divide one may find themselves this conclusion is reached for differing reasons.  Under current circumstances it would be to the benefit of all concerned if we were to unite upon those reasons which we find in common.  There is no doubt that such commonality exists, yet still it seems to elude us. That leaves us with this question: why?

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The Worst Person of the Week (Is not Tom Darby)
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Another post from our friend Tom Darby at the Ale81Inn!

This week's winner stormed into the game late and bested some of our perennial contenders.  In a field including Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Todd and CNN's Brain Seltzer, our winner this week blew them all out of the water. Remarkably this individual did not even enter the equation until mid week. This individual's despicable factor was indeed SO potent that if Adam Schiff himself had been on the front pages this week, even then it would have been no contest. Even more remarkable, our winner has prevailed following a nearly unparalleled performance from Michigan's Gretchen Hitler.

Following this appearance on Fox News Channel's Tucker Carlson Tonight on Thursday,  all balloting for this week's winner was closed:

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More dead fish
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A Doom and Reprisal editorial from Ale 81 field correspondent, Ford Wenty


On the same day that Fred Willard passed on from this realm another Fred also departed. He was none other than Fred the betta, a small, blue fish. While Mr. Willard was renowned among his peers, as well as viewing audiences of five decades, Fred the betta was and still remains an obscure quantity. His passing was not unnoticed by me and I am struck suddenly that dead fish seem to have become a theme in this column.

There was actually nothing remarkable in the demise of this tiny creature.  He had already lived far beyond any reasonable expectation of his species’ normal lifespan, and outside of a very select handful of people besides myself he was a total unknown.  This story, like the recent Of Dead Sharks and Divorce, is not literally about a dead fish (shark or betta); rather it is about the dead fish as metaphor.

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TJ Darby from the Ale81Inn
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A guest post by Tom Darby from the Ale81Inn

Social distancing is hardly a new phenomenon for me. I’ve been practicing it for years and can heartily extol the benefits derived from such a life. I completely understand that it is not for everyone, especially when it is not a matter of one’s own choice. We have a new truism introduced in the midst of the latest crisis, one akin to the ubiquitous “it is what it is”. We’re all in this together. One should ask, is this in fact true?

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