More dead fish
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A Doom and Reprisal editorial from Ale 81 field correspondent, Ford Wenty


On the same day that Fred Willard passed on from this realm another Fred also departed. He was none other than Fred the betta, a small, blue fish. While Mr. Willard was renowned among his peers, as well as viewing audiences of five decades, Fred the betta was and still remains an obscure quantity. His passing was not unnoticed by me and I am struck suddenly that dead fish seem to have become a theme in this column.

There was actually nothing remarkable in the demise of this tiny creature.  He had already lived far beyond any reasonable expectation of his species’ normal lifespan, and outside of a very select handful of people besides myself he was a total unknown.  This story, like the recent Of Dead Sharks and Divorce, is not literally about a dead fish (shark or betta); rather it is about the dead fish as metaphor.

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The Barber of Owosso: A tragic opera in one act
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Scene: The Reichspalatz, 12:15AM, 5 May 2020

Reichsfuehrer Gretchen Goering-Hitler had just finished a luxurious bath in mare’s milk; with just a touch of blood from the latest herd of Guatemalan immigrant children. She had discovered that the fresh blood, perhaps due to the tropic of the donors, was far more efficacious than her prior regimen of aborted fetal tissue. The soothing therapy of that bath was well earned, for she had just completed an exhausting day in the special observance of the 50th annual Statist’s Ball; a commemoration of the Kent State massacre. This year the committee had outdone themselves, featuring the sacrifice of a live giraffe (just because they could), and constitution biscuits for communion wafers. The biscuits were a first: it seems they have found that by baking bits of the constitution right into the biscuit, it saves them the time and expense of having it printed on their toilet tissue.

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Tom Darby
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Originally published on Ale81inn.com on 18 Sept. 2018

Here’s a bit from his more lucid days.

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Pandemic or Plandemic
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Well that is a bit of a provocative title, isn’t it?  I’m guessing that this is not the first time for many of you to have heard this topic framed in such a fashion.  I have stated previously in this forum that I do not subscribe to the “plan”demic suggestions, as tempting as some of these may be. There are already, and no doubt will continue to be, those who will cite various pieces of data to suggest and then support such theories.  I can admit to myself that some of these suggestions hold a degree of plausibility, yet I am still tethered to the notion that in most instances the simplest explanation of a thing tends to be the most logical.  Since all of the furor now surrounds not the virus, but the official response to it, the simplest explanation for where we now find ourselves is this. Where there is a permanent class in our public sectors, who have been continually rewarded for inefficiency and incompetence, the occurrence of ANY crisis will manifest it’s absolute worst side effects by their actions.

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Pretendian
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There are so many things to dislike about this woman. It is truly a challenge to figure out where to begin. I could recite the laundry list of concerns, but there is one set of facts that do a pretty damned good job of encapsulating them all. It is something which cuts directly to the issue of her character as a person. As one might infer from the title of this article, I am of course referring to her now infamous assertion of Cherokee ancestry.

Though I have some rather strong opinions to the contrary, it is a generally held consensus that Harvard is a top notch institute of higher learning. If we are to base this on nothing more than a dollar equation then the idea has at least some credence. Otherwise how does one account for the exorbitant price tag attached to obtaining the pedigree? One could attend four years at Harvard and learn nothing, but for the right price they will bestow a piece of paper that says you have arrived: you are now among the elites.

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TJ Darby from the Ale81Inn
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Earlier this week I happened to catch a bit of an interview with Dennis Miller. I have always enjoyed hearing Miller’s take on things: his well tempered cynicism, wrapped inside of clever humor, is good medicine in even the best of times. This brief clip prompted me to revisit another recent appearance of Miller, this one on The Rubin Report of 29 March, 2020. I’ll not post the link here (absolutely nothing against Dave Rubin), but this podcast is easily found and I would encourage all to watch. The episode is just slightly over one hour in it’s duration, but it was only one brief exchange that has inspired the train of thought which follows. Within the context of a discussion over the current sociopolitical climate in the United States, Miller said:

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Tom Darby
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Some of you lot from the old WB will recall my sometime reference to the 1985 film Brazil. This week my alter ego (one of several), Ford Wenty, shared his semi-regular commentary in Doom and Reprisal at the Ale 81 Inn. He seems to think there is some uncomfortable similarity between the film and the current happenings on Capitol Hill. And it's a half assed film review. As a bonus. Totally unintended.

Oh, and one more thing. APPARENTLY there are some people who think that Ford's name is a stoner goof to achieve the phonetic 420. Sorry to disappoint. Wenty is actually an Anglicization of an ancient Welsh surname. The "e" was added to render the name utterable by English tongues. And Ford, of course, is an old and honored given name throughout the Isles. Or maybe his Mother was ahead of her time and had a sense of humor. No one will ever know for certain. Not even Ford.

A report from Ale 81 Inn field correspondent, Ford Wenty

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The Worst Person of the Week (Is not Tom Darby)
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Another post from our friend Tom Darby at the Ale81Inn!

This week's winner stormed into the game late and bested some of our perennial contenders.  In a field including Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Todd and CNN's Brain Seltzer, our winner this week blew them all out of the water. Remarkably this individual did not even enter the equation until mid week. This individual's despicable factor was indeed SO potent that if Adam Schiff himself had been on the front pages this week, even then it would have been no contest. Even more remarkable, our winner has prevailed following a nearly unparalleled performance from Michigan's Gretchen Hitler.

Following this appearance on Fox News Channel's Tucker Carlson Tonight on Thursday,  all balloting for this week's winner was closed:

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BS Detector
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Project Veritas is at it again. Mr. O'Keefe and company have graced us with yet another of their exposés; this time peeling back the carpet to reveal the rotted sub-floor beneath that is the Bernie Sanders campaign. The chief subject of this episode is an Iowa field organizer by the name of Kyle Jurek, a name now known to millions. The marvelous thing about Project Veritas' guerrilla journalism is that unlike more conventional methods, where one listens, records and then reports the words and actions of their subjects, the viewer is instead given the story directly from the subject's own mouth. On that score Mr. Jurek hardly disappoints: he is a small man with a very big mouth.

Why should we care?  This seems a natural question, we are assured, as there are extremists at either end of our political spectrum. It will be suggested that Mr. Jurek is a lone wolf, an outlier not in any way reflective of the democrat constituency as a whole. Whether this bears any truth or not will make little difference to those who will be content to wrap this warm shawl of comforting thought around their fragile psyches. There is, however, good reason to care and we should all be thankful that this Trotsky wannabe has been exposed.

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TJ Darby from the Ale81Inn
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A guest post by Tom Darby from the Ale81Inn

Social distancing is hardly a new phenomenon for me. I’ve been practicing it for years and can heartily extol the benefits derived from such a life. I completely understand that it is not for everyone, especially when it is not a matter of one’s own choice. We have a new truism introduced in the midst of the latest crisis, one akin to the ubiquitous “it is what it is”. We’re all in this together. One should ask, is this in fact true?

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Tom Darby
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Ernie was at liberty for the entire weekend. It was the second week of August and while economic engines roared in the overworld, business in Hell was, frankly speaking, a bit soft. So it was that he had, on that Saturday night of 10 August 2019, dived deep and without reservation into a bottle of Cuban rum. He had every intention of growing blind drunk and falling into unconsciousness, yet that blissful state had somehow eluded him. Now it was Sunday morning and finding all bottles within his residence sadly emptied, he had made the trek to his office where he had locked down a reserve cache. He expected to slip in quietly, collect two bottles and depart with none ever knowing he’d been there. Upon entering the outer suite of the executive offices from the hall he was chagrined to learn that this would not be the case. Instead of finding the offices abandoned he was treated to the view of his secretary, Amy, pressing a drinking glass against the wall of the Big Boss’ office. In such a drunken state his reaction was delayed, until finally he hissed to her from the doorway.

“Amy! What the hell are you doing?”

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