Tom Darby Blog From Ale81Inn

TJ Darby from the Ale81Inn
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A guest post by Tom Darby from the Ale81Inn

Social distancing is hardly a new phenomenon for me. I’ve been practicing it for years and can heartily extol the benefits derived from such a life. I completely understand that it is not for everyone, especially when it is not a matter of one’s own choice. We have a new truism introduced in the midst of the latest crisis, one akin to the ubiquitous “it is what it is”. We’re all in this together. One should ask, is this in fact true?

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Tom Darby
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Originally published on Ale81inn.com on 18 Sept. 2018

Here’s a bit from his more lucid days.

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Pretendian
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There are so many things to dislike about this woman. It is truly a challenge to figure out where to begin. I could recite the laundry list of concerns, but there is one set of facts that do a pretty damned good job of encapsulating them all. It is something which cuts directly to the issue of her character as a person. As one might infer from the title of this article, I am of course referring to her now infamous assertion of Cherokee ancestry.

Though I have some rather strong opinions to the contrary, it is a generally held consensus that Harvard is a top notch institute of higher learning. If we are to base this on nothing more than a dollar equation then the idea has at least some credence. Otherwise how does one account for the exorbitant price tag attached to obtaining the pedigree? One could attend four years at Harvard and learn nothing, but for the right price they will bestow a piece of paper that says you have arrived: you are now among the elites.

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Tom Darby
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Some of you lot from the old WB will recall my sometime reference to the 1985 film Brazil. This week my alter ego (one of several), Ford Wenty, shared his semi-regular commentary in Doom and Reprisal at the Ale 81 Inn. He seems to think there is some uncomfortable similarity between the film and the current happenings on Capitol Hill. And it's a half assed film review. As a bonus. Totally unintended.

Oh, and one more thing. APPARENTLY there are some people who think that Ford's name is a stoner goof to achieve the phonetic 420. Sorry to disappoint. Wenty is actually an Anglicization of an ancient Welsh surname. The "e" was added to render the name utterable by English tongues. And Ford, of course, is an old and honored given name throughout the Isles. Or maybe his Mother was ahead of her time and had a sense of humor. No one will ever know for certain. Not even Ford.

A report from Ale 81 Inn field correspondent, Ford Wenty

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BS Detector
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Project Veritas is at it again. Mr. O'Keefe and company have graced us with yet another of their exposés; this time peeling back the carpet to reveal the rotted sub-floor beneath that is the Bernie Sanders campaign. The chief subject of this episode is an Iowa field organizer by the name of Kyle Jurek, a name now known to millions. The marvelous thing about Project Veritas' guerrilla journalism is that unlike more conventional methods, where one listens, records and then reports the words and actions of their subjects, the viewer is instead given the story directly from the subject's own mouth. On that score Mr. Jurek hardly disappoints: he is a small man with a very big mouth.

Why should we care?  This seems a natural question, we are assured, as there are extremists at either end of our political spectrum. It will be suggested that Mr. Jurek is a lone wolf, an outlier not in any way reflective of the democrat constituency as a whole. Whether this bears any truth or not will make little difference to those who will be content to wrap this warm shawl of comforting thought around their fragile psyches. There is, however, good reason to care and we should all be thankful that this Trotsky wannabe has been exposed.

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Tom Darby
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Ernie was at liberty for the entire weekend. It was the second week of August and while economic engines roared in the overworld, business in Hell was, frankly speaking, a bit soft. So it was that he had, on that Saturday night of 10 August 2019, dived deep and without reservation into a bottle of Cuban rum. He had every intention of growing blind drunk and falling into unconsciousness, yet that blissful state had somehow eluded him. Now it was Sunday morning and finding all bottles within his residence sadly emptied, he had made the trek to his office where he had locked down a reserve cache. He expected to slip in quietly, collect two bottles and depart with none ever knowing he’d been there. Upon entering the outer suite of the executive offices from the hall he was chagrined to learn that this would not be the case. Instead of finding the offices abandoned he was treated to the view of his secretary, Amy, pressing a drinking glass against the wall of the Big Boss’ office. In such a drunken state his reaction was delayed, until finally he hissed to her from the doorway.

“Amy! What the hell are you doing?”

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Tom Darby
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A report from Ale 81 Inn field correspondent, Ford Wenty

 

Strange days in Iowa.  Iowa, at least in my experience, has always been a bit odd. Let's face the facts, unappealing as they may be. Minneapolis-St.Paul can not possibly contain all of the lunatic fringe in the Upper Midwest. Even with Madison, WI the region is still in dire need of an habitat for this endangered breed. What better than the nothingness of their buck-toothed cousin to the south, home of the Harkin democrat.

In a statement released late Monday night, an Iowa Democratic Party spokesman said:

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Broomstick Challenge
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Reprisal report from Ale 81 Inn field correspondent, Ford Wenty

I surely hope that the pews of Mother Superior’s private chapel are padded. All of the kneeling required for her prayerful reflection must play hell on her near octogenarian knees. It is clear that, due to long hours massaging her rosary beads, arthritis has set into those bony digits; so much so that it was necessary to make a little starter tear in her copy of the SOTU address to avoid the colossal embarrassment of a mid-rip failure. Despite the fact that she is no longer able to firmly grip a ruler she has yet managed, through a combination of cheap vodka, prescription pain killers and an indomitable will, to maintain an order among her increasingly rebellious charges.

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